Main AIM of HR

Wife - Lets go for a dinner tonight.

Husband (HR Manager) - Ok.

Husband - Should we go to an sasta restaurant ?

Wife - No. Let's go to Royal Palace hotel.

Husband - (silence for a minute) - Ok, See you at 7.O 'Clock.

On the way, around 6.30 pm...

Husband - Once time, I had pani puri competition with my sister and she ate 30 pani-puris and defeated me.

Wife - What's so difficult in it?

Husband - Defeating me in Pani-puri eating competition is so difficult.

Wife - I can easily beat you.

Husband - Please leave it. It's not your cup of tea.

Wife - Let us have that competition right now.

Husband - So you want to see yourself defeated?

Wife - Let's see.

They both stop at a Pani-puri stall and start eating...

After about 30 Pani-puris the husband gave up.

The wife was also full, but to defeat her husband, she ate one more and shouted, "You lose."

The bill was Rs 50/- and wife was back home, happy with her bet win!

Moral of the Story...

Main aim of a HR Manager is to satisfy employee with minimum investments. Winning attitude with less investment, ensuring strong Return On Investment! 😃

All salary people must read this:-----

After 4 years of selfless service, I realized that I had not been prmoted, no salary increment, no commendation.
So I decided to walk up to my HR Manager. The manager looked at me, smiled and asked me to sit down saying: "My friend you have not worked here for even a single day."

I was shocked to hear this !!!, but the manager went on to explain, and here's the conversation that took place.

Manager: How many days are there in a year?

Me: 365 days and sometimes 366.

Manager: Do u come to work on weekends?

Me: No sir.

Manager: How many days are there in a year that are weekends?

Me: 52 Saturdays and 52 Sundays equals to 104 days.

Manager: Thanks for that. If u remove 104 days from 366 days. how many days
do u now have?

Me: 262 days

Manager: How many hours make up a day?

Me: 24 Hours.

Manager: How long do u work in a day?

Me: 10am to 6pm
(i.e 8 hours a day.)

Manager: So, what fraction of the day do u work in hours?

Me: 8/24
i.e 1/3 (one third).

Manager: This is nice of u! what is 1/3rd of 262 days?

Me: 87
(1/3 x 262 = 87days)

Manager: I do give u 2 weeks sick leave, 15 days casual leave, 5 days optional leave, 30 days earned leave every year. Now remove that 64 days from the 87 days left. How many days do u have remaining?

Me: 23 days.

Manager: Do u work on festivals ? (20 days)

Me: No Sir!

Manager: Do u work on Republic Day?

Me: No sir!

Manager: Do u come to work on Independance Day?

Me: No sir!

Manager: So how many days r left?

Me: 1 day sir!

Manager: Do you come to work on New year's day..?

Me: No sir..!!

Manager: So how many days are left?

Me: None Sir!

Manager: So what r u claiming?

Me: I have understood, Sir. I did not realise that I was stealing company
money all these days.

Moral - NEVER GO TO HR FOR HELP!!!

(HR-HIGH RISK.)
.
.
.

So, How many days do you work ?😁😂😄😄😄

Sir Chhutti chahiye

Employee to Boss : Sir Chhutti chahiye

Boss : ek shart par milegi, ye batao, Katappa ne Bahubali ko kyon mara?

Employee: Sir, Katappa ko Chhutti nahi di hogi...


(presently the employee is on 60 days of Annual Leave)
😝

Over Time

जो  लोग  हमेंशा  ऑफिस  में  ओवर  टाइम  करते  है,

क्या  वो  सबसे  महेनती  है???

नहीं..

या  तो  वो  बीवी  से  तंग  है,

या  वो  ऑफिस  में  किसी  के  संग  है..

😜😜😜😜😜😜😜😜

Story of CA Life..

A little story of a C.A.'s wife.

There was a C.A., who had worked all his life, had saved all of his money. He was a real miser when it came to his money.

Just before he died, he said to his wife...

'When I die, I want you to take all my money and put it in the casket with me. I want to take my money to the afterlife with me.'

And so he got his wife to promise him, with all of her heart.

He died soon.

He was stretched out in the casket, his wife was sitting there, dressed in black, and her friend was sitting next to her. When they finished the ceremony, and just before the undertakers got ready to close the casket.

The obdient wife said,

'Wait just a moment!' She had a small metal box with her; she came over with the box and put it in the casket. Then the undertakers locked the casket down and they rolled it away.

Then her friend said, 'Girl, I know you were not foolish enough to put all that money in there with your husband.'

The loyal wife replied,

'Listen, I'm a wife; I cannot go back on my word. I promised him.'

'You mean to tell me you put that money in the casket with him!?!?!?'

I sure did, 'said the loyal wife.' I got all the money together, put it into my account, and wrote him a cheque.... I put the cheque in the casket. Now it is up to him to encash the cheque.'

"If he can cash it, then he can spend it."

Wife kiski thi......... ???

C.A. ki😜😂😂

Passion

Your Competitors can Copy
Your Work.... Your Style.....
Or Your Procedure...

But,
None can Copy your Passion...
If you hold it Firmly,
The world is Yours.
Always Be Passionate...!!   
🌺🌺 Good Morning 🌺🌺

Management decision

एक राजा था। 👑
उसने दस खूंखार जंगली कुत्ते पाल रखे थे। 🐕
उसके दरबारियों और मंत्रियों से जब कोई मामूली सी भी गलती हो जाती तो वह उन्हें उन कुत्तों को ही खिला देता। 😁
एक बार उसके एक विश्वासपात्र सेवक से एक छोटी सी भूल हो गयी, राजा ने उसे भी उन्हीं कुत्तों के सामने डालने का हुक्म सुना दिया। उस सेवक ने उसे अपने दस साल की सेवा का वास्ता दिया, मगर राजा ने उसकी एक न सुनी।
फिर उसने अपने लिए दस दिन की मोहलत माँगी जो उसे मिल गयी।
अब वह आदमी उन कुत्तों के रखवाले और सेवक के पास गया और उससे विनती की कि वह उसे दस दिन के लिए अपने साथ काम करने का अवसर दे। किस्मत उसके साथ थी, उस रखवाले ने उसे अपने साथ रख लिया।
दस दिनों तक उसने उन कुत्तों को खिलाया, पिलाया, नहलाया, सहलाया और खूब सेवा की।
आखिर फैसले वाले दिन राजा ने जब उसे उन कुत्तों के सामने फेंकवा दिया तो वे उसे चाटने लगे, उसके सामने दुम हिलाने और लोटने लगे।
राजा को बड़ा आश्चर्य हुआ। 😳
उसके पूछने पर उस आदमी ने बताया कि महाराज इन कुत्तों ने मेरी मात्र दस दिन की सेवा का इतना मान दिया....
...बस महाराज ने वर्षों की सेवा को एक छोटी सी भूल पर भुला दिया।

राजा को अपनी गलती का अहसास हो गया....

...और उसने उस आदमी को तुरंत भूखे मगरमच्छों के सामने डलवा दिया।
😳😱

सीख:-

आखिरी फैसला मैनेजमेंट का ही होता है उसपर कोई सवाल नहीं उठाया जा सकता।
  😉   😜   😝   😆   😃

Orange color or fruit

BOSS in office : Okay guys, today we are going to play a game.....

When I say a name of the fruit, you run to the right  side of the hall....

And when I say any color, you run to the left side of the hall....

One who runs on wrong side will not get the increment...

got it ?

Employees : Yes Boss, Got it.😀😀😀😀👍👍

Boss : Okay...Ready, Set...

........
........ "ORANGE" !

Employees : 😳😳😰😰😡😡😥😰😟😟😦😦

My Boss installed WhatsApp and texted me
'Oye Joke Bhej...!'

I replied 'sir pehle batao increment kab hoga?---'

Boss Replies: 'Mast tha !!
Aur bhej...'